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The statistics of failed marriages in Nigeria and the world is on a drastic rise, and one fears that in the near future, marriage will be nothing of value anymore.

Taking a deep look into the causes of failed marriages in the world, one finds five major reasons that cuts through cultures, traditions, religions and levels of education.

Below are those five major reasons.

1. Fake courtship

One of the greatest problem faced in marriage is not continuing those things that were done during courtship. Many become very boring the moment they get married, this turns their spouse off and next thing they want out. If you lives a fake life which you cannot continue after your marriage, you can be sure that your marriage will definitely come crashing. What happened to the exchange of songs, what happened to the perfectly timed calls just to know how the other person is doing?

2. Pride

The world is filled with many ‘isms’ that tend to make us lose the true essence of being human. These ideologies when brought to the home makes it a place of debates as there will always be clash of egos. Both men and women want to be worshipped in their marriages, no one wants to be looked down upon. However, demanding respect is not the same as commanding respect and that one is humble in a relationship does not in any way make them fools. The fight for equality is also a contributing factor, so we have discussions like there is no head of the family anymore, what we have is a partnership and that too do not seem to work out as most couple do not get to find a perfect sharing formula and that leads to a disaster.

3. Communication

By the time some people get married, they seem to run out of ideas as to what can be discussed and what to chat about. For some it goes worse, they ask only questions and believe somehow that that is communicating, you see the problem with this is that people get turned off by too many questions, so before you know it, one spouse would rather not talk, because he or she wants communication and not interrogation.

4. Abuse

As the stats for failed marriages is on the increase, one notices that the stats for domestic abuse also increases. So many marriages have gone beyond repair because of domestic abuse. This could be verbal or physical. It’ funny how some people are too quick to use swear/curse words on their spouses, even if it’s a joke. For some it is part of being friends but that’s the problem because even as friends such words don’t work. So one realises that in most cases when these verbal missives which were intended jokes go out, they send negative vibes and before you know it, things get really physical. Those who really love their wives/husbands will not throw negative words their way, neither will they think that fighting is a way to resolve issues. If we can watch the way we talk to our spouses, then maybe we can reduce the chances of a divorce by 50 percent.

5. Social Media Influence

The social media has its advantages, however the disadvantages tend to be mor, with bullying and other ills becoming the order of the day. Regardless of what many of us will like to believe, social media has a great influence on how we live our lives and how we handle our marriages. For some people, their marriages are modelled after what they read on social media, but they forget that everyone must study his or her own spouse and fashion out the best way to deal with them as to have a very lovely family. So next thing we know, we are comparing our marriages to that of others, you suddenly want Mr breakfast in bed and many other dreams, what if your husband is not that. We must work with the strengths of the ones we love and correct their weaknesses in love. Some may change and others may never change as it has become their way of life. It is in coming to this understanding that we can live peacefully as a family.

Regardless of what the world may say about marriage, it is a wonderful experience, one that should be nurtured and encouraged. If we fail to give it the attention it deserves, then it turns into a nightmare, home become a hell nobody is willing to return to.

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BIG STORY

Rowdy Session As Another LP Reps Defects To APC, Cites Leadership Crisis

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The member representing Jos South and East Federal Constituency, “Alfred Illiya Ajang,” has defected from the Labour Party (LP) to the All Progressives Congress (APC).

In a letter read by the Speaker of the House of Representatives, “Tajudeen Abbas,” during plenary on Thursday, the now-defected member claimed that the crisis in the Labour Party was the reason for his defection.

The House was thrown into a rowdy session as some lawmakers raised eyebrows over the content of the letter.

Lending his voice, Minority Leader “Kingsley Chinda” says the letter is not in accordance with the constitution of the House and, as such, should be rejected.

He said that as a standing order, any member who wishes to defect must first inform his constituents and party members on the platform on which he was elected before any letter is read.

Chinda argued that since this criterion has not been met, the letter should not be admitted.

The speaker, however, overrode the observation.

Meanwhile, a former Minister of Labour and Employment and now-serving senator “Simon Lalong” was at the House of Representatives complex to witness the defection and give support to his colleague.

The House had earlier suspended its rules to admit Lalong, representing Plateau South senatorial district.

His defection from the LP to the ruling APC adds to the swelling number of federal lawmakers dumping one of Nigeria’s main opposition parties.

A few days back, another lawmaker, “Dalyop Chollom,” representing Barkin Ladi/Riyom Federal Constituency, dumped the LP for the APC. He cited the crisis in the party as his reason.

Some weeks back, four members of the House of Representatives dumped the LP for the ruling party, citing squabbles in the Labour Party.

Following their defection, the LP threatened legal action and claimed their action was unconstitutional.

The Labour Party made inroads in national politics in the 2023 general election years after its formation. It got six Senate and 34 House of Representatives seats.

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BIG STORY

City People Magazine Set To Celebrate The Carpenters’ Boss, Kayode Alfred On Thursday

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Frontline celebrity journal, City People Magazine led by its publisher and renowned veteran journalist, Dr. Seye Kehinde has put all things together to make May 11, 2023, a memorable and unforgettable day for budding entrepreneur and journalist, Kayode Alfred.

The Chief Executive Officer of The Carpenters Restaurant, Kayode Alfred will be celebrated by the City People Magazine for his sterling and enterprising qualities and input as a celebrity journalist turned entrepreneur. His success story in the hospitality business is being celebrated and this will take place at ‘The Carpenters Restaurant’, located at Wemco Road, Agidingbi Ikeja, Lagos.

Speaking about the event, Seye Kehinde said: “We are celebrating Kayode Olanshile Alfred for his contribution to the hospitality business and fashion industry, as he has been doing these for years, and he has not relented in his effort.

“This is the only way to appreciate and encourage his immense contribution to the hospitality business, alongside his beloved associates and friends in a well-packaged event like this.”

The event which is packaged by City People Entertainment, promises to be entertaining and will have sensational Nigerian Juju musician Adeyinka Adeboye, popularly known as ‘Boye Best’ to entertain the guest.

Ever since Kayode Alfred launched out not long ago into the enterprising world, he has continually remained in the consciousness of the people he rendered service to.

This celebrity journalist is a self-starter; a self-driven entrepreneur with astounding diligence and sartorial depth. This is as a result of his passion and enterprising and innovative qualities in whatever he puts his mind to. Alfred has long nurtured this dream since he was in school, and this dream is now coming to reality going by the number of corporate guys and elite clientele that proudly patronized his business.

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BIG STORY

I’m Aware Of Challenges Facing Police, My Administration Has Helped A Lot — Buhari

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President Muhammadu Buhari says his administration has helped to alleviate the problems facing the Nigeria Police Force (NPF).

The president spoke on Thursday when he received the 2021 audited report and 2023 budget proposal of the police service commission (PSC), in Abuja.

He underscored the importance of quality welfare in effective service delivery and said the federal government has made it a priority for police officers.

“I particularly note that accommodation for police officers is very critical and this administration has made the welfare of police officers, and indeed, the armed forces a top priority,”

“I know that when officers are posted on duty or assignments and they know that their families live in barracks with facilities, schools, clinics, and a conducive living environment, their morale is boosted and they would discharge their duties with courage and efficiency.

“I am pretty aware of the problems and challenges confronting the Nigeria police force and the armed forces.

“The problem is relative to time and resources and this administration has done a lot with the limitations.”

Presenting the 2021 audited report and the 2023 budget proposal to the president, Clara Ogunbiyi, acting chairman of the commission, said the PSC has ensured that ”proper and fit persons are recruited into the Nigeria Police Force”.

She added that the commission has been consistent in ensuring making sure officers are promoted at the right time while erring police officers are sanctioned as appropriate.

While expressing appreciation to the president for the prompt release of funds towards the completion of the PSC headquarters, Ogunbiyi requested that the commission’s budget be placed in the first line charge in budget allocation, as that would allow the commission to be more effective.

 

Credit: NAN

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