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MUST READ: Hey Vagina! You Are A Crime —– By Florence Ozor

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Do you own a Vagina?

Yes?

Verdict: You are a crime.

In the last few weeks, vaginas have come under enormous threats, intimidation, extortion, attack, rape and horrid violations under varying circumstances.

Was your vagina spotted out and about, around 8 pm and later? Did your vagina go clubbing? Was your vagina taking a stroll to get some air? Did your vagina impulsively conceive grocery shopping down the road late in the evening? Was your vagina scantily clad in nothing but thongs? Did your vagina decide to ‘hang out’ with penises and co-vaginas? Does your vagina currently reside in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT)?

If your vagina answered yes to any of the above questions, YOU ARE A CRIME.


Public Service Announcement: these circumstances are subject to change and we reserve the right to review circumstances without prior notice.

PENIS PROTECTION

This is wicked and unfair, these vaginas had penises around, why were they not subjected to the same rule? It is gender-based violence, a discrimination and a violation of the fundamental rights of all vaginas within the territorial boundary of Nigeria.

Oh vagina, I understand your lamentation but I cannot ignore the naivety of it. Your attempt to equate your vagina with a penis will be the end of you. Penis is your master! Yes, there were penises found around loitering, chatting, strolling and even dancing with vaginas, but they have exclusive immunity for the duration of their existence better than those even conferred by the constitution. You do not reserve the same privilege of immunity.

Know this Vagina, know it and understand your place. Penises are not subject to the presumption of criminality accorded to vagina; how could you even imagine such preposterous imagination of equality! All these feminists!

Mind you, Penises do not engage in prostitution and neither does it constitute any moral aberration in our society, vagina!

Vaginas, I cannot continue to enlighten you that the laws, religion, culture and politics of the land favors penises and not you, ordinary vagina, so stay away from the FCT and where unavoidable, stay indoors and prostitute, sorry, socialize there.

YOU PROSTITUTE!

Every woman is a prostitute in Nigeria and this is geographically understated.
Growing up in an African home, when you are called your middle name, it is either as an endearment, a reprimand before an onslaught or a lethal warning, reason being that one can get used to the commonality of a first name and the officious-ness of a surname, the middle name is unfailingly pulled out of the sack, reflective of the gravity of the circumstance with a hint of consequences. Every woman in Nigeria – again, geographically understated – has an unwritten, unspoken and illegitimate middle name – verbalized after the pattern of an African home.

YOU PROSTITUTE!

  • is your middle name or will inevitably be your middle name provided you are burdened by nature with a vagina and like all legitimate use of middle names, it does not matter how highly placed you are or your status, it will be used to remind you who is boss and the insignificance of your existence often in the light of attributing your minute existence to the benevolence of a penis. Unlike your legitimate middle name, this does not carry a toga of class, honor or prestige, it is used to reduce and eliminate any imaginative attempt of a vagina to assume any height of prominence, however low. Please do not push your luck, in challenging the status quo or seeking to insist on your high ground, it is a proven means of soliciting for your middle name. It will be vocalized with a stamp- a confident knowledge of validity and finality accompanied with anger, disdain, violence, dominance, suppression and all manner of genius, subject to the creative imagination of the speaker. Oh! vagina, you may enjoy the privilege of not been called your middle name, do not get accustomed to this, it is short-lived – You Prostitute – will be the summation of you.

VAGINA POLICE!

There is an agency of government, who is not bound by the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and whose job it has become to apprehend at sight all “loitering vaginas”.

The Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB) whose duty it is to “…. keep owned or occupied tenements clean, neat, keep the grass low and trim, cut and trim flowers; keep drainage running through the tenement free from blockage. Provide adequate dust bin and sanitary convenience; must not dry clothes in front of the balcony or in front of his premises or on hedges or sidewalks, must not keep animals or birds likely to cause nuisance; must not use residential premises for the sale of alcoholic drinks or as a restaurant or for other commercial activity.” but no! they are after vaginas and all vaginas are guilty enabled by time and place.

Over 100 vaginas have been arrested in the last two weeks, some have been charged to court on coerced confessional statements of prostitution charge, some granted N5000 fine, married women with evidence of a wedding band released and some are still in custody all thanks to the Federal Capital Territory Administration, (FCTA) Joint Task Team.

Tales abound of life during apprehension. A certain young petite vagina narrated how taking a stroll to buy noodles at a wrong time and place was the license for her arrest.

The Vagina Police demanded N5000 as fine failure to pay resulted in the violent penetrations of 3 penises into her vagina without condoms and garnished with beating to command compliance. Another young vagina exposed the fear of the Joint Task Force but not the fear of the law – for they are above the law – but a selfish fear of STD’s that these vaginas are potentially carrying so these penises are enclosed in used pure water sachets as a brilliant substitute for condoms, such genius!

Oh please, do not lecture me on the damage incurred those innocent vaginas.

Vaginas are created to be beaten by penises as they deem fit and it does not matter that, in our laws, rape is not a condition for bail or that they forget that if any society desires to regulate an aspect of morality, it makes a law and any such law must be in conformity with the supreme law of the land, but hey! A vagina knows nothing, has no voice and no right in a penis’ world. Penis is the master.

Oh yes, vaginas, run! The Vagina Police cometh and you are a crime.

Florence Ozor
Yet – to – be – Apprehended Vagina.
Twitter: @florenceozor

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NEWS

Historic Race As JAC Motors Abeokuta 10km Marathon Debuts November 2nd 2019.

Peter Okunoren

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The much-talked-about maiden edition of the JAC Motors sponsored Abeokuta 10Km Race is now re-scheduled to hold for Saturday, November 2nd, 2019.

According to a press release by the media office of Nilayo Sports Management Limited, the organizers of the international event, the shift in date for the event is to allow all and sundry observe their Sunday devotions without disruption of any sort.

The organizers, however deeply regret any inconvenience the change in date might cause, especially the sponsors and partners of the maiden edition of the Abeokuta marathon, and particularly, the over three thousand registered potential competing racers of the marathon.

The JAC Motors sponsored Abeokuta 10Km marathon, ably supported by the Ogun State government, Rite Foods, Bet9ja, QMB Builders Mart, Landwey Investment Limited, IBD International Hotels is the vision of Nilayo Sports Management Limited.

On a personal note, our heart aches as we announce the sudden passing of our media officer for the Abeokuta 10Km Marathon, Mr. Gbenga Davies. He was an extraordinary journalist who inspired a lot of young people in his profession.

We offer our deepest condolences to Mr. Davies family, colleagues and the media family in Ogun State.

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Seasoned Journalist, Gbenga Davies, For Burial August 14…. OGD, Amaechi, Saraki, Fayemi, Others Mourn

Gbemileke Ajayi

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Notable politicians, friends, and associates have commiserated with the publisher of Metronews Nigeria, Otunba Femi Davies, and the entire family on the demise of Gbenga.

The remains of Gbenga Davies, the brother of the popular and award-winning veteran journalist, Otunba Femi Davies, would be buried in Abeokuta, Ogun State, tomorrow, the August 14th, 2019.

It was reported that Gbenga slumped on Friday night at Abeokuta while watching a football match with friends. All attempts to resuscitate him failed, as a family put the cause of his death as due to cardiac arrest. He was 46 years old.

The burial arrangement as released by the family starts tomorrow at 11.00 am when the body will leave General Hospital, Sokenu, Abeokuta. There will be brief service of songs at the NUJ Secretariat, Iwe Iroyin House, Abeokuta, at 11.30 am. His remains will be buried at Kobape Cemetery by 12.30pm.

Many friends of the deceased were grieved by Gbenga’s sudden death. He was described as an easy-going and free-spirited journalist. He was never known to brood or bear grudges against anyone.

Numerous politicians across the political divides in the country have been paying glowing tributes to Gbenga, who was a three-time Journalist of the Year in Ogun State. Prominent amongst them were the former governors of Ogun State, Otunba Gbenga Daniel, Senator Ibikunle Amosun, the former Senate president, Sen. Bukola Saraki and the executive governor of Ekiti State, Dr. Kayode Fayemi.

Others, who also commiserated with the family, were former Rivers State governor and now minister, Mr. Romiti Amaechi, and several friends of Gbenga Davies.

Gbenga was a friendly and jovial person, an humanitarian, whose contributions to his immediate community will remain unforgettable.

He had his secondary school education at Festac Grammar School, Lagos and proceeded to Ogun State Polytechnic (now Moshood Abiola Polytechnic) in Abeokuta, where he studied accounting. Though he would later choose a career in journalism, a profession he had passion for due to his closeness to his brother, the ace journalist, Otunba Femi Davies.

Until his death, he was the spokesperson for JAC Motors-sponsored Abeokuta Marathon.

Gbengene, as he was popularly called, is survived by his wife, four children, brothers, and an aged mother.

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NEWS

Lets Build Nigeria Through Industry, Innovation And Infrastructure SDGs Festival Of Ideas-Goal 9 —– McKelvin Jude Oseh

Gbemileke Ajayi

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The SDGs Festival of Ideas is an International Festival scheduled to hold for 17 days, to INFORM, IMPACT and INNOVATE on the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals in achieving Agenda 2030.

The Festival of Ideas (FOI) is a project hosted by a network of NGOs including Youth Initiative for Progress (YiPAfrica), led by IBI Foundation and Foundation for Inclusive Development and Accountability (FIDA) in collaboration with the Office of the Vice President, Federal Republic of Nigeria (Social Investment Program) and Office of the Senior Special Adviser to the President on SDGs (OSSAP-SDGs). The festival is intended to identify, amplify and unify individuals and organizations with highly innovative and impactful ideas on Nigeria’s response to achieving the SDG’s.

 

The Executive Director of Youth Initiative for Progress Africa (YiPAfrica) disclosed that YiPAfrica will be coordinating Goal 9 – Day 9 of the festival themed ‘Lets BUILD NIGERIA TOGETHER” scheduled to hold on the 11th September 2019 in Abuja.  Sustainable Development Goal 9 is based on three economic development powerhouse: Industry, Innovation and Infrastructure. These are interconnected to navigate the growth of a nation and they all share the objective of achieving societal inclusive and environmentally sustainable economic development.

SDG 9 has approximately five (5) targets:

 

  • To develop quality, reliable, sustainable and resilient infrastructure, including regional and trans-border infrastructure, to support economic development and human well-being, with a focus on affordable and equitable access for all.
  • Promote inclusive and sustainable industrialization and, by 2030, significantly raise industry’s share of employment and gross domestic product in line with national circumstances, and double its share in least developed countries.
  • Increase the access of small-scale industrial and other enterprises, in particular in developing countries, to financial services, including affordable credit, and their integration into value chains and markets.
  • By 2030, upgrade infrastructure and retrofit industries to make them sustainable, with increased resource-use efficiency and greater adoption of clean and environmentally sound technologies and industrial processes, with all countries taking action in accordance with their respective capabilities
  • Enhance scientific research, upgrade the technological capabilities of industrial sectors in all countries, in particular developing countries, including, by 2030, encouraging innovation and substantially increasing the number of research and development workers per 1 million people and public and private research and development spending.
  1. Facilitate sustainable and resilient infrastructure development in developing countries through enhanced financial, technological and technical support to African countries, least developed countries, landlocked developing countries, and Small Island Developing States.
  2. Support domestic technology development, research, and innovation in developing countries, including by ensuring a conducive policy environment for, inter alia, industrial diversification and value addition to commodities.
  3. Significantly increase access to information and communications technology and strive to provide universal and affordable access to the Internet in the least developed countries by 2020.

These targets are closely linked to other SDGs related to job creation, sustainable livelihoods, improved Health, Technology, Human Capital Development, and Decent Work, Gender equality, Food security, Green energy, and Climate change. In addition, the review underscored linkages with and positive impacts on other SDGs, as Infrastructure, Industries, and Innovation are enablers of growth and sustainable development for the stimulation of SDG implementation in countries broadly.

 

With participation of key stakeholders in Science, Technology, Works and Infrastructure, Government agencies, Civil Society Groups, and Private Sector, SDG Goal 9 side event during the festival will play significant role in creating different pathways to recommending possible strategic engagement with Public-Private Partnerships (PPP) and Joint Ventures (JV) to solving Nigeria’s infrastructural deficits in meeting her growing populations.

 

Amongst Other high-level Panel discussions will include:

 

  • Boosting the value chain and exploring opportunities of the 4th industrial revolution.
  • Human capital development, harnessing exportable knowledge on Information Technology and Innovation for economic growth.
  • Transportation (fast, accessible and affordable means of transportation) beaming more on alternative means and Nigeria’s National Air Carrier and Financing.
  • Identifying factors affecting Manufacturing and Up-Scaling Made in Nigeria goods to meet ISO for exports.
  • Affordable Housing
  • Power: Exploring alternative source on clean and renewable energy
  • Affordable internet service coverage
  • Credit guarantee by FGN for the growth of SME’s

 

While we anticipate the adoption of our recommendations, Nigeria needs to start building. Build resilient infrastructure; promote inclusive and sustainable industrialization and foster innovation to meet up the challenges ahead of Nigeria’s projected population growth of 265 million people in 2030, 150 million of which will be below the age of 25 – World Poverty Clock.

 

Let us Build Nigeria TOGETHER.

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