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MUST READ: Hey Vagina! You Are A Crime —– By Florence Ozor

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Do you own a Vagina?

Yes?

Verdict: You are a crime.

In the last few weeks, vaginas have come under enormous threats, intimidation, extortion, attack, rape and horrid violations under varying circumstances.

Was your vagina spotted out and about, around 8 pm and later? Did your vagina go clubbing? Was your vagina taking a stroll to get some air? Did your vagina impulsively conceive grocery shopping down the road late in the evening? Was your vagina scantily clad in nothing but thongs? Did your vagina decide to ‘hang out’ with penises and co-vaginas? Does your vagina currently reside in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT)?

If your vagina answered yes to any of the above questions, YOU ARE A CRIME.


Public Service Announcement: these circumstances are subject to change and we reserve the right to review circumstances without prior notice.

PENIS PROTECTION

This is wicked and unfair, these vaginas had penises around, why were they not subjected to the same rule? It is gender-based violence, a discrimination and a violation of the fundamental rights of all vaginas within the territorial boundary of Nigeria.

Oh vagina, I understand your lamentation but I cannot ignore the naivety of it. Your attempt to equate your vagina with a penis will be the end of you. Penis is your master! Yes, there were penises found around loitering, chatting, strolling and even dancing with vaginas, but they have exclusive immunity for the duration of their existence better than those even conferred by the constitution. You do not reserve the same privilege of immunity.

Know this Vagina, know it and understand your place. Penises are not subject to the presumption of criminality accorded to vagina; how could you even imagine such preposterous imagination of equality! All these feminists!

Mind you, Penises do not engage in prostitution and neither does it constitute any moral aberration in our society, vagina!

Vaginas, I cannot continue to enlighten you that the laws, religion, culture and politics of the land favors penises and not you, ordinary vagina, so stay away from the FCT and where unavoidable, stay indoors and prostitute, sorry, socialize there.

YOU PROSTITUTE!

Every woman is a prostitute in Nigeria and this is geographically understated.
Growing up in an African home, when you are called your middle name, it is either as an endearment, a reprimand before an onslaught or a lethal warning, reason being that one can get used to the commonality of a first name and the officious-ness of a surname, the middle name is unfailingly pulled out of the sack, reflective of the gravity of the circumstance with a hint of consequences. Every woman in Nigeria – again, geographically understated – has an unwritten, unspoken and illegitimate middle name – verbalized after the pattern of an African home.

YOU PROSTITUTE!

  • is your middle name or will inevitably be your middle name provided you are burdened by nature with a vagina and like all legitimate use of middle names, it does not matter how highly placed you are or your status, it will be used to remind you who is boss and the insignificance of your existence often in the light of attributing your minute existence to the benevolence of a penis. Unlike your legitimate middle name, this does not carry a toga of class, honor or prestige, it is used to reduce and eliminate any imaginative attempt of a vagina to assume any height of prominence, however low. Please do not push your luck, in challenging the status quo or seeking to insist on your high ground, it is a proven means of soliciting for your middle name. It will be vocalized with a stamp- a confident knowledge of validity and finality accompanied with anger, disdain, violence, dominance, suppression and all manner of genius, subject to the creative imagination of the speaker. Oh! vagina, you may enjoy the privilege of not been called your middle name, do not get accustomed to this, it is short-lived – You Prostitute – will be the summation of you.

VAGINA POLICE!

There is an agency of government, who is not bound by the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and whose job it has become to apprehend at sight all “loitering vaginas”.

The Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB) whose duty it is to “…. keep owned or occupied tenements clean, neat, keep the grass low and trim, cut and trim flowers; keep drainage running through the tenement free from blockage. Provide adequate dust bin and sanitary convenience; must not dry clothes in front of the balcony or in front of his premises or on hedges or sidewalks, must not keep animals or birds likely to cause nuisance; must not use residential premises for the sale of alcoholic drinks or as a restaurant or for other commercial activity.” but no! they are after vaginas and all vaginas are guilty enabled by time and place.

Over 100 vaginas have been arrested in the last two weeks, some have been charged to court on coerced confessional statements of prostitution charge, some granted N5000 fine, married women with evidence of a wedding band released and some are still in custody all thanks to the Federal Capital Territory Administration, (FCTA) Joint Task Team.

Tales abound of life during apprehension. A certain young petite vagina narrated how taking a stroll to buy noodles at a wrong time and place was the license for her arrest.

The Vagina Police demanded N5000 as fine failure to pay resulted in the violent penetrations of 3 penises into her vagina without condoms and garnished with beating to command compliance. Another young vagina exposed the fear of the Joint Task Force but not the fear of the law – for they are above the law – but a selfish fear of STD’s that these vaginas are potentially carrying so these penises are enclosed in used pure water sachets as a brilliant substitute for condoms, such genius!

Oh please, do not lecture me on the damage incurred those innocent vaginas.

Vaginas are created to be beaten by penises as they deem fit and it does not matter that, in our laws, rape is not a condition for bail or that they forget that if any society desires to regulate an aspect of morality, it makes a law and any such law must be in conformity with the supreme law of the land, but hey! A vagina knows nothing, has no voice and no right in a penis’ world. Penis is the master.

Oh yes, vaginas, run! The Vagina Police cometh and you are a crime.

Florence Ozor
Yet – to – be – Apprehended Vagina.
Twitter: @florenceozor

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Aimart Realtors To Reward Customers In Season’ Promo Draws

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Aimart Realtors, one of Nigeria’s premium real estate management and development company, will be hosting the grand finale of her special season’s promo on the December, 14th, 2019. The event which will take place at Air force Officers Mess, No 1 kofo Abayomi Lagos will see winners emerge from various categories of a promo many observers regard as top-notch in this season of a giveaway.

The current Aimart Realtors Promo does not just have huge reductions in the prices of houses and plots of land at all Aimart estates in Ibeju-Lekki and Lagos Mainland, there is a special top-up as customer who makes deposits for any package will smile home with lots of goodies to celebrate this year’s yuletide holidays and new year season.

In a statement issued by the company, the Managing Director Mrs. Oluwabukola Iluyomade, stated that the organization wants to excite all Nigerians during this season as they take advantage of the heavy discount on various packages in all their estates across different parts of Lagos.

In her words, “the vision of Aimart Realtors is to be a one-stop solution in the global real estate business. Besides, we are equally poised to provide precise, accurate and affordable real estate services that guarantee human dignity, wealth creation, and preservation for our esteemed customers.

“As the season approaches, we decided to provide this icing on the cake for all, right from the first day of October we started the promo till this December that we are ending this special promo”

She added that the excitement of this event is meant to wow everyone and set the stage for a bigger, better and fun-filled new year,

Since its establishment years ago, Aimart Realtors has successfully provided client-oriented solutions and real estate portfolios that offer optimized shelters for both individuals and businesses.

Over time, the company has remained consistent with its vision as “a one-stop solution provider in the global real estate business” and thus continues to design, conceptualize, build and manage decent and affordable residential, office, commercial accommodations that are excellent for habitation and investment.

The company has also created a top-notch standard in delivering worry-free-homes to customers at home and in the diaspora. Giving optimum value to virtually all her clients.

In all her jobs and activities, Aimart Realtors has maintained a clean record of delivering exceptional services in all areas of land documentation, survey plan, C of O and gazette processing and these have kept customers coming back with great satisfaction.

Interested customer who desired to end 2019 in grand style with the acquisition of land and homes at affordable prices should contact Aimart realtors on the following 234 1 2932213 +23481280794
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Esther Ijewere Wins Social Innovation Award

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For her outstanding contribution in the empowerment of the female gender for self sustainable  through the provision of capacity building platform to help women for the discovery and accomplishment of goal, both at the grassroots and social level, Esther Ijewere, founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children and editor-in-chief of multiple award-winning blog Women of Rubies, has won the Social Innovation Award at the recently-held Voice of Women Conference organized by Wfm.917,at the NAF Conference, Abuja on November 19th, 2019.

While she was unable to attend the epoch-making event, Esther was well represented by her sister,  who gave an outstanding speech on her behalf, reflecting on Esther’s background and her determination to add value to humanity in every little way she can.

Reacting to the award, Esther took to her social media page to show her appreciation: “Thanks for recognizing my work and honoring me with this award Wfm91.7  as a Social Innovator at the Voice of Women Conference and awards today. 

Thanks, Toun Okewale, for counting me worthy. May God honour you, sis. I’m grateful and I appreciate you for all you do to empower women and give us a voice.

Special thanks to my younger sister Oye, for receiving this on my behalf. Love you ❤

Thanks to my wonderful Women of Rubies team for making it easy, big thanks to every woman who has given me the opportunity to showcase their work since 2015.

I dedicate this award to my 2 daughters, it’s been a very rough year for me, but you both have been very understanding, smart and compassionate.

For all the times you said “Mom, we understand”, “Mom, it’s okay”, and just really showing I’m not alone in this “lone” journey, Thank you, my Angels. I pray you make better choices in life. 

I put in so much work because I  want to make a difference in the world,  but above all I want you to have a good legacy you can be proud to identify with when you grow up and choose your life path. 

 I want you to know Mommy isn’t perfect, but she rose above her dysfunctional background and life challenges to build something worthwhile and add value to humanity.

You both are the highlight of my existence as a human being, for all the times I have been rejected, humiliated and turned down, having you in my life has changed how I see myself. 

Because of you my girls, I wake up every day, and I have that innate belief that it’s going to be a good day. 

Dear Mom, you made the right choice bringing me to the world against all odds and I love you with every fiber of my being. Thanks for not giving up on me. 

Thank you, Jesus, for this, that and everything. 

This is a challenge to do more, and I pray to keep being a loyal vessel. 

Grateful heart!!!!! ❤❤“. 

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2019 IMD: NGO promises cash reward, other incentives for Nigerian men

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A non- governmental and not for profit organization, The Victoria Adeyanju Male Mentorship Foundation(VAMMF) is set to reward Nigerian men with cash gifts in celebration of this year’s International Men’s Day (IMD) 2019.
The NGO is focused on empowering and developing professionals that will contribute to the development of nation-building in Africa.
The International Men’s Day, which is widely celebrated on the 19th of November 2019 will have  Nigerian men compete for the sum of Ten thousand naira(N10,000) only. Participants will post a two-minute video on Instagram of his male hero, stating why he stands out from others and why he is your male hero, with the hashtag (#mymalehero), (#VAMMF).
All entries close by the 29th of November as a winner who has the highest likes, repost, and friends tags will be announced on the  2nd of December 2019.
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