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The British High Commissioner to Nigeria has advised the EFCC to partner the INEC to ensure that there is no vote buying in the build-up to the 2019 general election.

Paul Arkwright, in a visit to the anti-graft agency on Wednesday in Abuja, also advised the Commission against taking sides with any political party.

“INEC and EFCC should be there to preserve the integrity of the political process, including taking forward investigations without any prejudice on one side or the other, following the evidence and taking action where it is justified,” he said.

He further said, “We are pleased to see how the EFCC operates, and we are assuring you of the endless support of the British Government in the fight against corruption.

“The UK and Nigeria have evolved and made progress in the fight against corruption, and the EFCC’s achievements have been impressive.”

Responding, acting Chairman of the EFCC, Ibrahim Magu, said, “I assure you that there is no political interference in what we do. We will continue to work with stakeholders like INEC who we have an agreement with to ensure that there is no interference to ensure free and fair elections in Nigeria and we will stop people using money to buy votes.”

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Fashola, Adebule, Aregbesola Honour Late Kafaru Tinubu At Ramadan

Peter Okunoren

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Again, the family of the late Alhaji Kafaru Oluwole Tinubu brought together conscious Muslims in and outside Lagos State to be fed with spiritual diets during this year’s memorial Ramadan lecture held on Sunday, May 12, 2019 at the popular De Blue Roof, LTV, Ikeja, Lagos.

The event, which was chaired by Aderemi Muinudeen Makanjuola, Chairman, Caverton Offshore Group, was organised in honour of the late police boss to literally take Muslims faithful on a voyage around the blessings of Ramaddan under a convivial environment.

The organizers’ choice of the two lecturers- Imam Najim Jimoh, Imam, Light House Mosque, Lekki, Lagos, who spoke on Leadership, Service and Trust: A Necessary Tripod to the Next Level, and Dr. Salis Mohammed, Imam, LASUTH /LASUCOM Mosque, Lagos, who spoke on Homosexuality: Trial of Parenting in the 21st Century- was generally applauded by the excited audience.

Both lecturers kept the audience on the edge of their seats, as they took turns to engage them during their brilliant presentations, which were peppered with copious quotes from the holy Quran as well as Hadith, the sayings of the Holy Prophet Muhammed, SAW.

Interestingly, aside the engaging lectures, the audience, again, enjoyed some moments of spiritual uplift during the presentation of goodwill messages by some eminent individuals, including Babatunde Raji Fashola, SAN, a former Lagos State Governor, current Minister of Power, Works and Housing, and a former partner in K.O. Tinubu and Co. Legal Practitioners; Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola, the immediate former Governor of Osun State; Special Guest of Honour, Her Excellency, Dr. (Mrs) Idiat Oluranti Adebule, Deputy Governor, Lagos State and Tunji Bello, Secretary to State Government, SSG, Lagos State who represented Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, the Chief Host and National Leader of All Progressives Congress, APC.

In particular, Wale Tinubu, Group CEO Oando Plc, who also gave a goodwill message, unwittingly offered a glimpse into his other side as a good orator, and even an “Islamic preacher” of a sort, especially as he espoused the benefits of the Ramadan, the need for uprightness by Muslims, while also evoking the memories of the late patriarch of the Tinubu family.

In what may be termed his homily on the occasion, he also used the occasion to appreciate his beloved mother, Alhaja Bintu Tinubu, the Iyalode of Lagos, whom he said contributed in no small measures to steady his feet on the path of Islam.

Indeed, it was one moment that gave not a few in the audience the opportunity to see the oil magnate as someone who has not abandoned his religious obligations in the quest for wealth

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MUST READ: Hey Vagina! You Are A Crime —– By Florence Ozor

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Do you own a Vagina?

Yes?

Verdict: You are a crime.

In the last few weeks, vaginas have come under enormous threats, intimidation, extortion, attack, rape and horrid violations under varying circumstances.

Was your vagina spotted out and about, around 8 pm and later? Did your vagina go clubbing? Was your vagina taking a stroll to get some air? Did your vagina impulsively conceive grocery shopping down the road late in the evening? Was your vagina scantily clad in nothing but thongs? Did your vagina decide to ‘hang out’ with penises and co-vaginas? Does your vagina currently reside in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT)?

If your vagina answered yes to any of the above questions, YOU ARE A CRIME.


Public Service Announcement: these circumstances are subject to change and we reserve the right to review circumstances without prior notice.

PENIS PROTECTION

This is wicked and unfair, these vaginas had penises around, why were they not subjected to the same rule? It is gender-based violence, a discrimination and a violation of the fundamental rights of all vaginas within the territorial boundary of Nigeria.

Oh vagina, I understand your lamentation but I cannot ignore the naivety of it. Your attempt to equate your vagina with a penis will be the end of you. Penis is your master! Yes, there were penises found around loitering, chatting, strolling and even dancing with vaginas, but they have exclusive immunity for the duration of their existence better than those even conferred by the constitution. You do not reserve the same privilege of immunity.

Know this Vagina, know it and understand your place. Penises are not subject to the presumption of criminality accorded to vagina; how could you even imagine such preposterous imagination of equality! All these feminists!

Mind you, Penises do not engage in prostitution and neither does it constitute any moral aberration in our society, vagina!

Vaginas, I cannot continue to enlighten you that the laws, religion, culture and politics of the land favors penises and not you, ordinary vagina, so stay away from the FCT and where unavoidable, stay indoors and prostitute, sorry, socialize there.

YOU PROSTITUTE!

Every woman is a prostitute in Nigeria and this is geographically understated.
Growing up in an African home, when you are called your middle name, it is either as an endearment, a reprimand before an onslaught or a lethal warning, reason being that one can get used to the commonality of a first name and the officious-ness of a surname, the middle name is unfailingly pulled out of the sack, reflective of the gravity of the circumstance with a hint of consequences. Every woman in Nigeria – again, geographically understated – has an unwritten, unspoken and illegitimate middle name – verbalized after the pattern of an African home.

YOU PROSTITUTE!

  • is your middle name or will inevitably be your middle name provided you are burdened by nature with a vagina and like all legitimate use of middle names, it does not matter how highly placed you are or your status, it will be used to remind you who is boss and the insignificance of your existence often in the light of attributing your minute existence to the benevolence of a penis. Unlike your legitimate middle name, this does not carry a toga of class, honor or prestige, it is used to reduce and eliminate any imaginative attempt of a vagina to assume any height of prominence, however low. Please do not push your luck, in challenging the status quo or seeking to insist on your high ground, it is a proven means of soliciting for your middle name. It will be vocalized with a stamp- a confident knowledge of validity and finality accompanied with anger, disdain, violence, dominance, suppression and all manner of genius, subject to the creative imagination of the speaker. Oh! vagina, you may enjoy the privilege of not been called your middle name, do not get accustomed to this, it is short-lived – You Prostitute – will be the summation of you.

VAGINA POLICE!

There is an agency of government, who is not bound by the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and whose job it has become to apprehend at sight all “loitering vaginas”.

The Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB) whose duty it is to “…. keep owned or occupied tenements clean, neat, keep the grass low and trim, cut and trim flowers; keep drainage running through the tenement free from blockage. Provide adequate dust bin and sanitary convenience; must not dry clothes in front of the balcony or in front of his premises or on hedges or sidewalks, must not keep animals or birds likely to cause nuisance; must not use residential premises for the sale of alcoholic drinks or as a restaurant or for other commercial activity.” but no! they are after vaginas and all vaginas are guilty enabled by time and place.

Over 100 vaginas have been arrested in the last two weeks, some have been charged to court on coerced confessional statements of prostitution charge, some granted N5000 fine, married women with evidence of a wedding band released and some are still in custody all thanks to the Federal Capital Territory Administration, (FCTA) Joint Task Team.

Tales abound of life during apprehension. A certain young petite vagina narrated how taking a stroll to buy noodles at a wrong time and place was the license for her arrest.

The Vagina Police demanded N5000 as fine failure to pay resulted in the violent penetrations of 3 penises into her vagina without condoms and garnished with beating to command compliance. Another young vagina exposed the fear of the Joint Task Force but not the fear of the law – for they are above the law – but a selfish fear of STD’s that these vaginas are potentially carrying so these penises are enclosed in used pure water sachets as a brilliant substitute for condoms, such genius!

Oh please, do not lecture me on the damage incurred those innocent vaginas.

Vaginas are created to be beaten by penises as they deem fit and it does not matter that, in our laws, rape is not a condition for bail or that they forget that if any society desires to regulate an aspect of morality, it makes a law and any such law must be in conformity with the supreme law of the land, but hey! A vagina knows nothing, has no voice and no right in a penis’ world. Penis is the master.

Oh yes, vaginas, run! The Vagina Police cometh and you are a crime.

Florence Ozor
Yet – to – be – Apprehended Vagina.
Twitter: @florenceozor

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Jobless Man Jailed Six Months For Touching Girl’s Breasts In Lagos

Gbemileke Ajayi

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An unemployed man, Ilias Mudashiru, yesterday at an Igbosere Magistrates’ Court bagged six months imprisonment for touching a girl’s breasts indecently and stabbing her relatives.

Magistrate F. O. Sasanya convicted Mudashiru, 29, after he pleaded guilty to the three-count charge of conspiracy, indecent assault and assault occasioning harm against him.

The verdict followed a review of the case by prosecuting Sergeant Godspower Ehizoba.

The magistrate held: “The defendant is hereby sentenced to three months in prison on count one (conspiracy), three months on count two (indecent assault) and six months on count three (assault occasioning harm).

“The sentence will run concurrently.”

Mudashiru was arraigned on April 26.

Reviewing the case, Ehizoba said the convict committed the offence on April 21, at about 8:20am, at Bombata Market, Oroyinyin Street, Adeniji Adele, Lagos Island.

He said Mudashiru conspired with others at large and indecently assaulted the girl by touching her breasts while she was on her way to a clinic.

Ehizoba said Mudashiru stabbed two of the girls who came to her rescue in the head, neck, and arm with a broken bottle.

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